Happy White Man. Day.


Happy Fourth. Or happy 238th is much better. We are America the brave, the free, the moral, the equal. All those words worth celebrating.

And the fact is we are worth celebrating. Not just as American’s but as humans. We overcame a LOT of humans. Red isn’t a color used in most flags by accident. Land is only won in two ways: money or violence.

But the land we took and how we got it actually wasn’t so violent. This is why the color blue is so appropriate. The Native American’s did not die from bloodshed, or from fights against land, most of them died quitely and peacefully through diseases introduced to them by europeans looking for religious freedom.

We talk about the term apocolypse in many films and stories as if they are fiction, as if it’s never happened. As if building a bridge with your barehands doesn’t kill.

And talk about freedom. How much more free can you get than a culture that moves with the pace of the trees and not the pace of the sun? Benjamin Franklin would admit today their way was without a doubt a much happier one.

So here we are, in our land of the free and the brave who courageously passed their virus’s to the non-immune. That takes valor. And even today we still stress that word free….free…free.

Even 238 years ago Thomas Jefferson used those words as he peered out his window and watched those dark-skinned people pick his vegetables to the sounds of clanking chains. Freedom. Equal. All men.

Then there were woman. Were woman different back then? Had they not yet evolved to the beautiful brilliant minded warriors they are today? Where were they? Ohhh they only knew how to light a stove then. Equal, freedom, all men. I guess it took till the late 19th century for all that estrogen to lose it’s power.

But in this free nation, this moral nation…this nation that is “going to hell in a hand basket” we had a great moral time in the mid 1900’s where we gave other races the use of their own bathrooms, their own schools, their own fountains. But sir this fountain is broken!…We gave you your VERY OWN FOUNTAIN…and now you complain! The appreciation runs lows here. After all this equal, free, nation has done for them.

Lets come to today. A time when we eat what they tell us, we drive where they tell us, we learn what they tell us we should learn, and learn how they say we should learn.

We need an educated mass so they can learn how to educate the masses.

The founding white fathers may not have intended this…or intended soda filled with more sugar than their slaves could ever harvest, but we have to look to them at all times, as guides.

Bruce Jenner can’t wear heels!! Our founding fathers would never allow it.

But today lets blame the men washing our dishes, the non-white men who want to be free. Lets blame the black people who are still looking for a key to their chains. Lets blame the woman asking for a wage that will allow them to sing their babies to sleep. Lets blame it on everyone but the white man. Because the white man deserves to celebrate today with his pinterest inspired parfait.

-Aaron Thomas

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